…
now that he thinks everything is back to normal and there’s no danger of me leaving, he’s lapsed back into the old behaviours. this is why i stayed after he said those things a month ago and everything went crazy and suddenly my life was up in the air – i almost left then, but i gave him the benefit of the doubt and stayed to see if anything would really change, or if he’d revert to being nasty to me after the crisis period was over.
even though i kind of knew this would happen, it still makes me sad. i always have so much hope that things might get better, in almost any given situation, that it takes me a long time to face reality.
but now i’m seeing things for what they really are. and i’ve tried so hard, for so long, but nothing is changing.
and i know it’s up to me to make the decision. to make the next move.
i’m just so scared.
:[ I know what you’re going through. And it is probably the hardest decision you’ll ever have to make.
Are you happy though? If you’re genuinely not happy, and he’s not going to change, then logic says to start again. With someone else.
It’s hard to be logical in love though. Especially when your whole life surrounds someone and it would absolutely turn it upside down if you are to leave.
Good luck.
At first i wasn’t sure wether this referred to a romantic relationship, or something else you wrote about a while ago…if it is indeed about your relationship, then I’m not sure what to say, as I was going through something very similar a month or so back, and it is really hard, and really draining, and would probably only be all the more confusing if i were to put my own advice forward.It is very scary and painful to make such decisions. Deep down, you’ll probably know what needs to be done. I wish you all the strength in the world to get you through this, and, for what it’s worth, a big cyber hug *hugs*.
P.s. This new blog is quite beautiful! Makes me wanna ditch mine and start afresh too…